Apocalypse

ILLUSTRATION BY BRIAN REA

 It is the year 2042. The world has devolved into apocalypse. The sky is dark in the day, and there are howls and screams at night. Marauding bands roam the countryside, preying on—and eating—their fellow-humans. The mail comes only about once a week, twice if you’re lucky. It is mostly junk mail. Somehow I have a subscription to a horrible magazine, Cannibalism Today. It features gruesome photographs and recipes.
I have written to the magazine’s circulation department, asking them to please cancel my subscription, but every month I get the current issue with a note that says, “Welcome, New Subscriber!”
 Nothing makes any sense anymore.
By Jack Handey / continue