What I really want this year more than anything is a Barbie Dream House. It’s pretty and pink and I will keep it in my room near my bed!
Merry Christmas,
Allison, Age 6
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Allison, It really should go without saying, but I will not be getting you this so-called dream house because I, of course, do not want to. But I will suggest this: buy it yourself.
Simply take two or three dollars from your mom or dad’s wallet each day (adults never know the exact amount they have) and soon enough you’ll have your useless and silly miniature house.
(Although, really, it’s Barbie’s body you should be working to attain.) Why you and so many others feel the need to tell me your age is something that will forever baffle me.
Regards, Satan, Infinite
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