Hello. My name is Grace Eldridge. I am Elliot’s mother. Elliot’s father and I are thrilled that he will be spending his summer with you at Camp Chautauqua. As this is Elliot’s first time at sleep-away camp, I wanted to let you know a few things about him so that you will be prepared to look after him properly. For starters, Elliot does not like to be called “El” or “Ellie.” He prefers “Elliot.” He may insist that you to refer to him as “Claude Death” or “The Night Crawler.” Don’t. That conversation won’t end well. Please keep an eye on Elliot when he is near the lake. He cannot swim. And he has a nasty habit of jumping into the water and pulling down anyone he can get hold of. Are there many large rocks or throwable objects near the lake? If so, please keep Elliot away from those and any nearby swimmers.
Elliot loves the outdoors and animals. Feel free to let him near any animal that is larger than his mouth."
By Demetri Martin / The New Yorker /continue reading
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