I can’t believe you’re 50; 49 maybe, but never 50!

Looking fifty is great–if you’re sixty.

 I have everything now I had twenty years ago — except now it’s all lower.

 After fifty everything that doesn’t hurt doesn’t work!

 Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.

 No wonder I’m unhappy – My twin forgot my birthday.

 You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Your best friend is dating someone half their age ..... and isn't breaking any laws.

 You grow up the day you have your first real laugh yourself.