The 10 best Woody Allen jokes

Play it Again, Sam (1972)                                                                

A hilarious romcom, directed by Herbert Ross but written by Allen. In the following exchange, he is trying to proposition an attractive girl in an art gallery (Diana Davila, who had played Anne Frank in a US TV movie).
Allen: “That’s quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn’t it?”
Davila: “Yes, it is.”
Allen: “What does it say to you?”
 Davila: “It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity…” (She goes on like this.)
Allen: “What are you doing Saturday night?”
Davila: “Committing suicide.”
Allen: “What about Friday night?”

via The Observer /read more