"Newt Gingrich is so pro-marriage, he can't stop doing it. He is so morally upright, that he's only had sex after he was married. Just not always to the woman he was married to.'' —Stephen Colbert
"I'm upset that Mike Huckabee criticized Natalie Portman for having a child out of wedlock. Listen, I'm no fan of unwed mothers either, but this is Natalie Portman we're talking about. That unborn child is Luke Skywalker." —Stephen Colbert
''We got somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 states. We could lose a few. I mean, do we really need two Dakotas? And NEW Hampshire? I'm sure the old one's fine.'' —Stephen Colbert
"I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens." —Stephen Colbert
Political Humor - Jokes Satire and Political Cartoons
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