Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you don't see him excited, make him a sandwich!
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing.
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