Actual Signs

"** In the front yard of a funeral home, 'Drive carefully, we'll wait.'

** On an electrician's truck, 'Let us remove your shorts.'

** Outside a radiator repair shop, 'Best place in town to take a leak.'

** In a non-smoking area, 'If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'

** On a maternity room door, 'Push, Push, Push.'

** On a front door, 'Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.'

** At an optometrist's office, 'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'

** On a taxidermist's window, 'We really know our stuff.'

** On a butcher's window, 'Let me meat your needs.'

** On a fence, 'Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.'

** At a car dealership, 'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'

** Outside a muffler shop, 'No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.'

** In a dry cleaner's emporium, 'Drop your pants here.'

** On a desk in a reception room, 'We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.'

** In a veterinarian's waiting room, 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

** At the electric company, 'We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.'

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