Hippo Jokes

What do you call an insincere hippo?
A hippocrite.

How can you get a hippo to do whatever you want?
Try hipponotism.

How do hippos commute?
In a hippopotabus.

What do you call two hippos riding a bicycle?
Optimistic.

How do you vaccinate a hippo?
With a hippodermic needle.

What do you give a seasick hippo?
Lots of room.

What did the hippo get when he started exercising every day?
Hippopotamuscles.

How can you be sure that a hippo is telling you the truth?
Have him take the Hippocratic Oath.

What do hippos put on their hot dogs?
Hippopotamustard.

Where should you bury a dead hippo?
In a hippocrypt.

What did the hippo get when he stopped shaving?
A hippopotamustache.

What happens to hippos who get too cold?
They get hippothermia.

What do you call a hippo who thinks he's sick?
A hippochondriac.

What do hippos make when they form a band?
Hippopotamusic.

What's more difficult than getting a hippo into the back seat of your car?
Getting TWO hippos into the back seat of your car.
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