Millions Ask Facebook to Ban Their Relatives

In a petition signed by a staggering number of the platform’s users, millions are asking Facebook to ban their relatives. 

 The signatories to the petition praised Facebook for its decision to ban the online rants of Donald J. Trump, but argued that the move “does not go far enough.” 

 “A major source of conspiracy theories, misinformation, and hate-mongering still exists on Facebook—namely, our relatives,” the petition read. Although the signatories said that they had already taken steps to block their relatives, they declared that it was “Facebook’s responsibility to keep them from irritating other users.”

 Responding to the petition, Facebook’s C.E.O., Mark Zuckerberg, said that, rather than banning the objectionable relatives, he would refer the decision to the company’s Oversight Board. 

 The board, however, tossed the decision back into Zuckerberg’s court, as the members asked him to ban their own horrible relatives. 

The Borowitz Report