Never mind the 'selfie stick' or the 'smart belt' – here are some REALLY useful inventions

This week it’s the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, an annual opportunity for tech companies to unveil their latest gizmos during January’s traditional slow news week, thereby picking up precious coverage that might otherwise be spent detailing something – anything – more important than an egg whisk with a USB port in the side. At the time of writing, the show is yet to kick off, although some of the offerings have already been unveiled – such as “Belty”, the world’s first “smart belt”, which monitors your waistline and tells you when it’s time to lose weight, just like a mirror or a close friend might. More excitingly, it adjusts to your girth (again, like a close friend might), and will tighten or loosen itself according to your current level of blubber. No word yet on whether it’s possible to pop a Belty round your neck and order it to squeeze you into the afterlife, but there’s no reason they can’t incorporate that feature in Belty 2.0, except maybe on basic ethical, moral and humanitarian grounds. According to Bertrand Duplat, whose company manufactures the Belty, “the belt experience hasn’t changed in centuries”, which is a) true but b) wasn’t formerly a problem worth solving, and also c) how does “doing up a belt” qualify as an “experience” anyway? There will be more announcements over the next few days – 5K televisions, a new Sony Walkman, sentient toothpicks that dream of a better life while they prise flecks of half-chewed poultry from your gums – but none will beat the following far more exciting products.