Death E-mails Google

To: questions@google.com
From: d.death2@aol.com
 Subject: Questions!
 Hey!
 Death here. Just writing to see if we can’t do anything about my Web presence. When I type my name (“Death”) into Google, some of the related searches that pop up are things like “death poems,” “death quotes,” “Death of a Salesman,” etc. Super depressing stuff! Not to be braggy or whatever, but I’m pretty fun. This is just a suggestion, but maybe we can change those links to things like “Surprise! Death looks good in a bathing suit!” or “Has anyone heard Death freestyle rap?” I’m not all business all the time! I mean, sure, I usher people into the land of silence and despair every few seconds, but in general I’m pretty easygoing. continue