"The most unsettling of the Geordies is a man called James, who looks precisely like a terrifying vinyl sex doll version of Ricky Gervais. Or possibly a CGI Manga impersonation of a young Ed Balls. I've been to Newcastle. There's no way James is from Newcastle. He's from space. Deep space. My guess would be he's actually some form of sentient synthetic meat that crudely disguises itself as other life forms, but only to an accuracy of about 23%. He's awesomely creepy to behold. Seriously, if James popped up on the comms screen of the USS Enterprise, Captain Kirk would shit his own guts out. And that's the sort of behaviour that can undermine a leader's authority."
By Charlie Brooker / more
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