Illustration by Ralph Steadman.
“JITTERS”
"Hi. I’m a young cocker-spaniel mix who’s still quite scared of people. Looking for a patient forever-home to help me come out of my shell. I was formerly owned by a young man with an anger-management disorder that was so serious he needed to be institutionalized. I don’t have a mean bone in my body, but I would be best off as the only pet in a quiet home without children. Until I’m back on anti-anxiety meds, I might need you to disable your doorbell. Please, I’m not a big fan of sudden movements. Kindness and positive reinforcements will go a long ways with me. I’m learning not to chew on electric cords when I get nervous. Here’s hoping you’ll be that special someone kind enough to continue applying gel to my rear-leg stitches twice a day for another month. I’m nearly seventy-five per cent capable of doing my business outside."
By Bill Franzen / The New Yorker / more
No comments:
Post a Comment