"Why don't sharks attack bankers? Professional courtesy.
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A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. As he tried it on, he reached down to put his hands in the pockets but to his surprise found none.
He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "You're a banker, right?" The young man answered, "Yes, I am."
"Well, whoever heard of a banker put his hand in his own pocket?""
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An investment banker said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on. He sold me one in the street yesterday.
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Bankers are people that help you with problems you would not have had without them.
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A man visits his bank manager and says, "How do I start a small business?" The manager replies, "Start a large one and wait six months."
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If you owe the bank £100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank £100m, that's the bank's problem.
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Hospitals report that the hearts of bankers are in strong demand by transplant patients, because they’ve never been used.
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Bankers never die...They just lose interest.
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What's the problem with banker jokes? Bankers don't think they're funny, normal people don't think they're jokes.
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The biggest joke of all? Bailed out bank Lloyds paying for sense of humour training at the Comedy School. That's one thing money can't buy.
Telegraph
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