I have been murdered and replaced with a suspicious facsimile. In running shoes

"You know how occasionally someone you know will suddenly do something so wildly uncharacteristic, you begin to question whether you ever really knew them at all? You've known Jane for 15 years. She's always been a vegetarian. And now she's married a human being made of meat. You're confounded and slightly hurt. Who exactly was this "Jane" you spent so much time with? What other surprises might be lurking within the Jane-shaped shell you once called a friend? Where was she on the night of the fifth? Is that her real leg? Who is Keyser Söze? Etc etc. Still, if it's slightly creepy when a friend behaves atypically, it's borderline terrifying when the person behaving out of character is wearing your shoes and your haircut and looks like you and is you. Take me for instance. For years, I thought I knew vaguely who I was, and the kind of things I liked. And one thing I'd definitely class myself as is "un-sporty". I've never had a gym membership and have always been profoundly suspicious of anyone who willingly does anything more physically demanding than wiping their arse. So imagine my shock, in recent weeks, to find myself running around a local park. Not once, not while being chased in a waking nightmare, but voluntarily and often. I confess: I have become a runner. I go running. I run. Like a runner. Which is what I have become. A running runner. Forgive me. Oh Christ. Forgive me."
  Charlie Brooker | The Guardian /continue reading