Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Epic Fail of The Week
Those who are smarter wear masks. Our guys here have surpassed all them at once. To conceal their faces so that no one could recognize them they... simply used a permanent marker pen to DRAW 'masks' on their faces and tried to rob an apartment. Naturally, they were found and arrested very quickly."
via
Sculpture by the Sea
'Sculpture by the Sea' has returned to Sydney's Bondi Beach.
Curiosity gets the better of an admirer of the silicon and fibreglass work 'Little Lost Boy' after overly-cautious organisers put a swimming costume on the figure.
read here
read here
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Lynn Rogers and the black bears of the Northwoods
read here
The Message
"One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called on a female angel and sent her to Earth for a time.
When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good. Well, he thought for a moment and said maybe I had better send down a male angel; to get both points of view.
So God called a male angel and sent him to Earth for a time. When the male angel returned he went to God and told him yes, the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good. God said this was not good. He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good and encourage them, a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what that E-mail said?
Oh! You didn't get one either?"
When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good. Well, he thought for a moment and said maybe I had better send down a male angel; to get both points of view.
So God called a male angel and sent him to Earth for a time. When the male angel returned he went to God and told him yes, the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good. God said this was not good. He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good and encourage them, a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what that E-mail said?
Oh! You didn't get one either?"
Bad driving is in the genes
"Scientists in America found people with a particular fault in their genetic make-up performed 20 per cent worse in driving skills tests than those without."
By Rebecca Smith
via
via
Animals at war
Indonesian Special Forces during a helicopter drill in Jakarta. The Indonesian military uses dogs to fight terrorism, perhaps mindful that there are few sights more terrifying than seeing an Alsatian falling out of the sky.
via
If we stick together, I think we'll be all white
It's rare enough to see one of these snowy little tails bobbing about the garden.
So spotting two at once is almost unheard of.
'Who's first, ladies?'
Meet Oumbie, the 28st gorilla stud .
"This is the satisfied look of a gorilla who is a hit with the female of the species."
via
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Charlie Brooker - 'Sleeping lessons'
Here's a list of insomnia 'dos and don'ts' guaranteed to give you a good night's sleep:
DO keep your eyes closed.
DON'T try to convince yourself you're asleep by making snoring noises.
DO focus on slowing your breathing down as much as possible. A handy tip is to imagine there's a speed camera pointing at your face; a magic speed camera that can photograph air. If you inhale or exhale too quickly, it'll fire a sharpened steel bolt into your forehead. Keep thinking about this all night."
DON'T go to bed wearing a makeshift crown fashioned from coathangers and bells – and if you do, don't sit upright violently shaking your head from side to side until sunrise.
DO keep the "worrying cells" of your brain occupied. Playing simple word games in your head is an excellent tactic. If it helps, imagine you're a contestant on Countdown, but try not to picture the gigantic clock looming behind you on the studio wall, with its huge sweeping hand marking the frantic passage of time, its hideous unbroken sweep impassively signifying the silent extinction of second after second . . . the hand that describes an arc . . . an arc that becomes a circle . . . a circle that becomes a spiral . . . a spiral that mirrors your twisting descent as you corkscrew downwards through time itself, plunging ever deeper into a void of meaningless decay . . . If you start thinking about that, quickly interrupt yourself by imagining Jeff Stelling throwing to a break.
DON'T stay in bed if you haven't fallen asleep with 30 minutes. Instead, get up and do something practical, such as driving a car or operating some heavy machinery.
DO drink nine litres of warm milk before bed.
There. Simple. And if none of that works, eat some drugs, use a different pillow, or saw your head off and stick it on a pole made of lullabies. Piece of piss.
Next week: how to solve the Iranian nuclear crisis.
via
DO keep your eyes closed.
DON'T try to convince yourself you're asleep by making snoring noises.
DO focus on slowing your breathing down as much as possible. A handy tip is to imagine there's a speed camera pointing at your face; a magic speed camera that can photograph air. If you inhale or exhale too quickly, it'll fire a sharpened steel bolt into your forehead. Keep thinking about this all night."
DON'T go to bed wearing a makeshift crown fashioned from coathangers and bells – and if you do, don't sit upright violently shaking your head from side to side until sunrise.
DO keep the "worrying cells" of your brain occupied. Playing simple word games in your head is an excellent tactic. If it helps, imagine you're a contestant on Countdown, but try not to picture the gigantic clock looming behind you on the studio wall, with its huge sweeping hand marking the frantic passage of time, its hideous unbroken sweep impassively signifying the silent extinction of second after second . . . the hand that describes an arc . . . an arc that becomes a circle . . . a circle that becomes a spiral . . . a spiral that mirrors your twisting descent as you corkscrew downwards through time itself, plunging ever deeper into a void of meaningless decay . . . If you start thinking about that, quickly interrupt yourself by imagining Jeff Stelling throwing to a break.
DON'T stay in bed if you haven't fallen asleep with 30 minutes. Instead, get up and do something practical, such as driving a car or operating some heavy machinery.
DO drink nine litres of warm milk before bed.
There. Simple. And if none of that works, eat some drugs, use a different pillow, or saw your head off and stick it on a pole made of lullabies. Piece of piss.
Next week: how to solve the Iranian nuclear crisis.
via
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