Monday, July 13, 2009

Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

"The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!' And the husband began --"
Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here
asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took
pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin,
not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for
three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the
enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because
you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in
moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and
while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of
holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the
designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because
you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your
anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't
wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the
expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the
same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued -
'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to
the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do
you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'


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