Funny Quotes about Families

"My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap....He was in the electric chair."
Rodney Dangerfield
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"I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom."
Bob Hope
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"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." (The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895)
Oscar Wilde
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"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."
Euripides
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"The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape,
nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to."
Dodie Smith
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"I am an only child. I have one sister."
Woody Allen
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"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty."
Jeff Foxworthy
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"Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner."
Douglas Adams
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"I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible...and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary."
Victor Borge

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