A farmer’s wife from Arlington, Iowa, won a landmark divorce case today citing “Stumbleupon” the popular online social networking site, as the main cause of the breakdown of her marriage.
The Judge ruling over the divorce summed up the whole affair stating “in all my days as a judge I thought I had seen everything, but I have never quite stumbled upon something like this. The kind of behaviour and language that has been demonstrated in this case has been rather interesting to say the least. I have to say I have learned something new today”.
Other witnesses who where brought in to give evidence confirmed that the situation had become untenable. One close family member said “it just isn’t normal, I have never in my life seen corn fields so tall and unkept and the poor cows, well they were left to roam as freely as they pleased”.
It is thought that the 38 year old man in question started to behave in a fashion unbecoming of an Iowa farmer just after he began using the social site stumble upon two years ago. Since then he has slowly withdrawn from both family and farm as he immersed himself in videos, websites and blogs offering everything from the banal to the bizarre.
After the Judge had ruled in Mrs Carters favour, she read out this statement in front of the court house.
“I am very pleased to have this whole nightmare behind me at last; the past two years have been pure hell. No respectable farmer neglects his responsibilities and just lets his cattle wander around like that. A few of the cows even managed to stumble upon a neighbouring farm and get branded along with their cattle, can you believe that?”
One waiting reporter asked Mrs Carter if he had displayed any other unusual or weird behaviour. She replied…
“Oh hell yeah, the cows and the corn fields are just the tip of the ice berg”
When asked what other kind of behaviour she had been forced to endure she shocked bystanders and reporters alike when she told them…
“Well it’s kinda embarrassing, but after sex he would shout out real loud, I LIKE IT, and then give me a big thumbs up. If that wasn’t bad enough he would then write me up a review. That had to be my lowest moment. But he also started asking me for reviews and thumbs up too and I didn’t have no clue to what he was talking about”.
A short while later Mr Carter emerged from the court house wearing a “Digg” T shirt and jeans and clutching what looked to be a notebook laptop. A reporter from a local daily asked him why he had allowed his cows to wander about in such a fashion. He simply replied…
“Caps lock OMG, LMAO, LOL loser”
This left the waiting reporters somewhat baffled and bemused.
Mrs Carter’s lawyer said that this was an unusual divorce to say the least and when challenged about the possibility of other cases like this coming to court he said he “most certainly hoped not”. It is understood that the judge who presided over the divorce has decided to take the rest of the month off in order to explore social networking in more depth, just in case.
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