Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Things I've learned on movies and TV

1. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
2. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home,
3. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. That will finish in a sex scene.
5. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises in their most diaphaous underwear, which is just what they happened to be carrying with them at the time the car broke down.
6. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
7. If someone says, 'I'll be right back', they won't.
8. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say: 'Enter Password Now'.
9. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. And none of your friends have to knock when they come for a visit. In addition, every front door can be opened from the outside without having to use a key.
10. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments."
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