Before & After

Before: You take my breath away
After: I feel like I'm suffocating

Before: She says she loves the way I take control of a situation
After: She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before: Lucy and Ricky
After: Fred and Ethyl

Before: Saturday night fever
After: Monday night football

Before: He makes me feel like a million dollars
After: If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...

Before: Don't stop
After: Don't start

Before: The sound of music
After: The sounds of silence

Before: Is that all your having?
After: Maybe you should just have a salad, honey

Before: Wheel of fortune
After: Jeopardy

Before: It's like I'm living in a dream
After: It's like he lives in a dorm

Before: $60/doz
After: $1.50/stem

Before: Turbo charged
After: Jump start

Before: We agree on everything
After: Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before: Victoria secret
After: Fruit of the loom

Before! : Charming and noble
After: Chernobyl

Before: Feathers and handcuffs
After: Ball and chain

Before: Idol
After: Idle

Before: I love a woman with curves
After: I never said you were fat

Before: He's completely lost without me
After: Why won't he ever ask for directions?

Before: Time stood still
After: This relationship is going nowhere

Before: Croissant and cappuccino
After: Bagel and instant

Before: Blind
After: Nearsighted

Before: You look so seductive in black
After: Your clothes are so depressing

Before: Iambic pentameter
After: Blank verse

Before: Oysters
After: Fish sticks

Before: I can hardly believe we found each other
After: I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

Before: Passion
After: Ration

Before: Once upon a time
After: The end