Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Top Ten Signs Your Weatherman Is On Drugs

10. Assures viewers heavy downpour of spiders should end by midday
9. During weather report, finishes three cans of Pringles
8. Begins segment with 'A big shout-out to my main dude, Sam the Snowman'
7. How else do you explain seeing a Doppler 4000 in local pawn shop?
6. Segues to sports guy by saying, 'Now here's the narc'
5. Between 'Thun-' and '-der', a 3-minute pause while he stares into camera
4. Stands next to map of U.S., screams, 'Fear me, I'm a giant!'
3. Says, 'There are record highs in this area'; points to head
2. When he says, 'Expect 2 to 3 inches of snow,' it ain't no ski report
1. So stoned he doesn't know difference between nimbostratus clouds and stratocumulus clouds"
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