My iPhone

From today this little miracle is finally in my home, and I'm fascinated with it.
The only thing I need is a book like this, so tomorrow I must go in bookshop.


My sis is the best!

Weight Loss

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Finish the start

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

Doctor Vs. Mechanic

Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager. Morris, somewhat of a loud mouth, shouted across the garage, 'Hey DeBakey...Is dat you? Come over here a minute.'
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris was working on a car. Morris in a loud voice, all could hear, said argumentatively, 'So Mr. fancy doctor, look at this work. I also take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get the big bucks, when you and me are doing basically the same work?'
DeBakey, very embarrassed, walked away and said softly, to Morris, 'Try doing your work with the engine running.'"
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Leap Year joke

"Q: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a calendar?

A: A leap year!"
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Kon Tiki, expedition to the Moon

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Think about it

"An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.
The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.
The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
'Why a thermos bottle?' the others asked.
'Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.'
'Yes -- so what?'
'Think about it.' said the mystic reverently. That little bottle -- how does it know?'"
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Einstein's Theory of Relativity

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Why continue?

Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand who hug their superstitions to their breast.
Isaac Asimov
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Falling off the bike - G.W.Bush

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Stairlift to Heaven for Henry the Dog

Hitching a ride on a stair-lift might look lazy - but for Henry the bulldog, it's an essential means of transport.

The creature has such short, stumpy legs, that he is unable to negotiate the stairs at his home in Germany, near Hamburg.

When owners Henry Conny and Bernhard Schrader brought Henry to their farm as a puppy, it was easy enough to carry him up and down the stairs.

But now he's an adult, Henry is simply too heavy to hoist - leaving them with a dilemma.

But the pair, who breed horses, came up with a solution when they improvised a lift to transport Henry up the stairs.

Now all Henry needs to do is learn how to push a button to start the mechanism and he can glide up and down the stairs to his heart's content."

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Young Skywalker

Pre - Rinse Cycle

"Doing it"

Father and son were walking hand in hand when they saw two dogs "doing it" in the middle of the street. The dad got all flustered and told his son that the big brown dog hurt his paw, and the little white dog was helping him across the street. The boy thought a minute, then looked up and said, "Isn't that just like life? You try to help someone and get screwed!"

Why Choose a Yorkshire Terrier?

Many people want a Yorkshire Terrier because they think carrying their dog everywhere they go would be fun.

They also think training will be easy.

Talk to people who have Yorkies and ask

them how much time and energy they put into caring for their dogs.Ask how much they spend every year on grooming,bedding,veterinary care,and high-quality dog food.A dog is not like

a piece of furniture sitting in the corner that you can ignore or forget about.

Owning this breed
may involve rearranging your schedule and devoting special time just for your dog. Can you
protect him from larger dogs,or from careless children who may drop or step on him ?
Are you willing to spend at least ten minutes every day combing and brushing him, another
20 minutes taking him for a walk ?If you can do all these things ,then the Yorkshire Terrier
may be the right breed for you.You'll be rewarded by having an intelligent,independent yet loving dog greet you every morning and snuggle against you every evening.


Source:"Your Yorkshire Terrier's Life" by E.W.Gewirtz

Depression drugs 'little better than placebos"

The Australian Medical Association has questioned the research methods of the UK study which claimed best-selling anti-depressants were barely more effective than sugar pills. Association spokesman Dr Choong-Siew Yong, a Sydney psychiatrist, said anti-depressants were life-saving for depressed people and it was essential for patients to speak to their doctor if they felt their treatment was ineffective. Dr Yoong said the study could not be relied because they represented the average results from from scores of separate studies with different drugs.
“That is not to say the evidence is wrong. It‘s a study that’s important for professionals, but I don’t think any reasonable psychiatrist, and I can safely speak for my colleagues, would advise people to stop taking their medications,” Dr Yoong said.

Bomb Squad

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First-Aid Course

"A blonde goes into work and she's 1 hour late.

'How come you're late?' asked her boss.

'It was awful!' she explained.

'I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course!'

'What did you do?' asked her boss.

'Well, remembering what my instructor said, I went right into action. I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!'"
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Snatching Cat

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How Was I ?

"Harry met Sandy at a nightclub one evening, and she finally invited him back to her apartment to spend the night. Her roommate was out of town, so this was the perfect opportunity.
The couple went back to her house, and after a few minutes the pair proceeded into Sandy's bedroom. When Harry walked through the door he immediately noticed all of these stuffed animals.
There were hundreds of them - stuffed toys on top of the wardrobe, stuffed toys on the bookshelf and stuffed toys on the window sill. There were more on the floor, and of course, stuffed toys all over the bed.
They cleared off the bed, jumped in, and went at it. Later, after the sex, Harry turned to Sandy and asked, 'Well ... How was I?'
Sandy replied, 'Well, you can pick anything from the bottom shelf.'"
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Croatian Herding Dog From Posavina

Although Croatia’s herding dog from Posavina has similar origins to all other central-European herding dogs, it has developed further along through selection processes, getting its name from the Croatian region were it originates from. This breed developed and spread, although not along the Sava River, as the Slovenes had contended at one time. According to their theory, the Posavski herding dog is a Slovenian indigenous breed, originating around the mouth of the Sava River in Slovenia, although they were soon to drop this line of argument - the first written references to this breed of dog can be found in the archives of the Croatia’s Djakovo Archdiocese, dating from 1737. Since then they have been distinguished by their hunting skills, and highly developed instincts for marking out - pointing out game (a dog which smells out game and then points until the hunter is ready to fire). Hungarians have used this breed as the corner stone in their crossbreeding efforts with their own wire-haired Viszla."
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Swimming in heels

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"If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them."
Sue Grafton

Good Dog

BMW

"They told me 'it flies', but I didn't believe them!"

"A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along
and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived
at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage
to his precious BMW.
'Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!', he whined.
'You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!', retorted
the officer. 'You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you
didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!'
'Oh my gaaawd...,' replied the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody
left shoulder where his arm once was, 'Where's my Rolex?!!!!!'"
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Serve

"A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender,

'Do you serve lawyers here?'.
'Sure do,' replied the bartender.
'Good,' said the man. 'Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator.'"
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New medication

"Have you heard about the new medication that both an aphrodisiac and laxative?
It's called 'Easy Come, Easy Go'."
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Bath time!

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Don't be on this flight

"'This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.

'If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.

'If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.

'If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.

'That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!'
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Protecting the Law's Paws

"Germany is the country which gave the world Birkenstocks, the ultimate in comfort over fashion footwear. So it should surprise no one that the recent decision to shod police dogs was done for practical reasons only."
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Q & A

Q. What do you get when you ask a politician to tell

"the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth"?

A. Three different answers.