chris leavins
Monday, August 31, 2009
A blonde bought two horses........
A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which.
A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked
great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just
right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was
stuck again.
The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine
until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again
our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure
the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that
the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.
A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked
great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just
right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was
stuck again.
The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine
until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again
our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure
the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that
the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Now I understand what marketing is:
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl.
You approach her and tell her: 'I am very good in bed'. That is Direct Marketing.
You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl.
One of your friends approaches her and tells her: 'That guy over there is very good in bed'.
That is Advertising.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone number.
The following day you call her and tell her: 'I am very good in bed'. That is Telemarketing .
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl.
You recognize her, you approach her and refresh her memory by telling her:
'Do you remember how good I am in bed?' That is Customer Relationship Management.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl.
You get up, fix your tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her,
pick up her bag when it falls and you tell her: 'I am very good in bed'. That is Public Relations. You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and tells you:
'I heard you are very good in bed'. That is BRANDING!!"
You approach her and tell her: 'I am very good in bed'. That is Direct Marketing.
You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl.
One of your friends approaches her and tells her: 'That guy over there is very good in bed'.
That is Advertising.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone number.
The following day you call her and tell her: 'I am very good in bed'. That is Telemarketing .
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl.
You recognize her, you approach her and refresh her memory by telling her:
'Do you remember how good I am in bed?' That is Customer Relationship Management.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl.
You get up, fix your tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her,
pick up her bag when it falls and you tell her: 'I am very good in bed'. That is Public Relations. You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and tells you:
'I heard you are very good in bed'. That is BRANDING!!"
Duplicate by Susheel Shrestha, Nepal
"A female sparrow attacking her reflection in a mirror."
Digital Camera Photographer of the Year: recent entries
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Yearly Physical
"A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.
The nurse starts with certain basic items.
'How much do you weigh?' she asks.
'115,' she says.
The nurse puts her on the scale.
It turns out her weight is 140.
The nurse asks, 'Your height?'
'5 foot 8,' she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5'.
She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high.
'Of course it's high!' she screams: 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!'"
The nurse starts with certain basic items.
'How much do you weigh?' she asks.
'115,' she says.
The nurse puts her on the scale.
It turns out her weight is 140.
The nurse asks, 'Your height?'
'5 foot 8,' she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5'.
She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high.
'Of course it's high!' she screams: 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!'"
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The summer TV reruns
"The summer TV reruns will soon be over.
I’m tired of avoiding watching shows
I avoided watching before!"
– Gil Stern in Las Vegas
viaI’m tired of avoiding watching shows
I avoided watching before!"
– Gil Stern in Las Vegas
What did one dolphin say to the other dolphin?
We can't know for sure, but whatever the joke is, these beautiful creatures look to be sharing a big laugh.
via
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