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Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Roller Coaster Ride
"'What happened?' asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed.
'Well, I went down to Margate at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn’t make it out.'
'I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn’t see what the sign said.'
'By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view.'
'And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?' asked the visitor.
'Yes.'
'What did it say?'
'Don’t stand up in the car!'"
via
'Well, I went down to Margate at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn’t make it out.'
'I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn’t see what the sign said.'
'By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view.'
'And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?' asked the visitor.
'Yes.'
'What did it say?'
'Don’t stand up in the car!'"
via
Monday, March 30, 2009
'I'm no Lewis Hamilton'
" Dave Stanisfield, pictured with his beloved Model T, was caught by camera doing 35mph in a 30mph zone in the 86-year-old two-gear car"
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Half Hidden From The World
"This is an amazing collection of winner photos from The International Photography Contest organized by the National Geographic and held in September, 2008."
more here
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
We're a virus with shoes
“I’m tired of this back-slapping ‘Isn’t humanity neat?’ bullshit.We’re a virus with shoes, okay? That’s all we are." — Bill Hicks
Gordo the skateboarding parrot
"Gordo, a 30-year-old Guatemalan parrot, rides his skateboard with his owner Fred Mireles in Baldwin Park, California"
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MICROSOFT has confirmed that its new Windows 7 operating system will allow users to interact with their computer by punching it in its bastarding face
The software giant said it had invested hundreds of millions of dollars in state-of-the-art features which will help users communicate their rage in a physical way which the computer can then analyse and respond to, instead of just designing a programme that was not a frustrating, overpriced sack of shit.
IT expert Tom Logan said: 'Windows 7 will offer real-time, multi-platform cross-functionality, which basically means it will be useless not just on your PC and your laptop, but on your mobile phone as well.
'But the key difference from Microsoft Vista is that it will let out pathetic, hitch-pitched yelps when you batter it repeatedly with a shoe.'
Logan added: 'If punch-screen is a success we could eventually dispense with the keyboard and mouse altogether and you'll be able to accidentally wipe all your files just by screaming at the monitor and waving your arms about like a maniac.'
The technology has also been incorporated into Microsoft's 'WifeAlert', an add-on which will allow furtive users to instantly replace hardcore Malaysian pornography with the RSPCA website via nothing more than a panicked slap of the hand.
Meanwhile the BBC said it would explore ways of integrating punch-screen with its live broadcasts.
A spokesman said: "You could spank Tim Lovejoy in the face during Something For The Weekend and via a series of high-speed interactive feeds we could make sure he felt it."
viaIT expert Tom Logan said: 'Windows 7 will offer real-time, multi-platform cross-functionality, which basically means it will be useless not just on your PC and your laptop, but on your mobile phone as well.
'But the key difference from Microsoft Vista is that it will let out pathetic, hitch-pitched yelps when you batter it repeatedly with a shoe.'
Logan added: 'If punch-screen is a success we could eventually dispense with the keyboard and mouse altogether and you'll be able to accidentally wipe all your files just by screaming at the monitor and waving your arms about like a maniac.'
The technology has also been incorporated into Microsoft's 'WifeAlert', an add-on which will allow furtive users to instantly replace hardcore Malaysian pornography with the RSPCA website via nothing more than a panicked slap of the hand.
Meanwhile the BBC said it would explore ways of integrating punch-screen with its live broadcasts.
A spokesman said: "You could spank Tim Lovejoy in the face during Something For The Weekend and via a series of high-speed interactive feeds we could make sure he felt it."
Friday, March 27, 2009
I have a plan to end the war in both Iraq and Afghanistan
" Here’s what we do. We bring all our soldiers home. We send in our investment bankers.
They’ll screw up the place in six months. Six months!"
Humor - NYTimes.com
Sales of Tickets for U2 Concert in Zagreb
People were standing in line all night to purchase tickets for the upcoming U2 concert in Zagreb.
The concert is SOLD OUT!
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My Little Darth Vader and the other pony toys bizarrely transformed by movie fan
A My Little Pony toy remade as Darth Vader from Star Wars and, below, another as Ridley Scott's Alien
more here
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