Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline
.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding
on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding
on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
this really pissed me off
T-Portal
Equal rights in Pension Insurance Law
As of 2019, men and women in Croatia will be able to retire at the same age.
Specifically, the current legal age difference, according to which men retire at age 65, while women may retire five years earlier, is in contrast with the constitutional directive on equal rights.The Constitutional Court ordered legislative bodies to fix the irregularity by the end of 2018.The Court decided that the existing regulations in the Pension Insurance Law to be an infraction of equal rights.Equal rights in Pension Insurance Law
As of 2019, men and women in Croatia will be able to retire at the same age.
Specifically, the current legal age difference, according to which men retire at age 65, while women may retire five years earlier, is in contrast with the constitutional directive on equal rights.The Constitutional Court ordered legislative bodies to fix the irregularity by the end of 2018.The Court decided that the existing regulations in the Pension Insurance Law to be an infraction of equal rights.
ps
Iam : a mother
a wife
a manager & worker
a housewife in the afternoon
How much longer ?
Equal rights in Pension Insurance Law
As of 2019, men and women in Croatia will be able to retire at the same age.
Specifically, the current legal age difference, according to which men retire at age 65, while women may retire five years earlier, is in contrast with the constitutional directive on equal rights.The Constitutional Court ordered legislative bodies to fix the irregularity by the end of 2018.The Court decided that the existing regulations in the Pension Insurance Law to be an infraction of equal rights.Equal rights in Pension Insurance Law
As of 2019, men and women in Croatia will be able to retire at the same age.
Specifically, the current legal age difference, according to which men retire at age 65, while women may retire five years earlier, is in contrast with the constitutional directive on equal rights.The Constitutional Court ordered legislative bodies to fix the irregularity by the end of 2018.The Court decided that the existing regulations in the Pension Insurance Law to be an infraction of equal rights.
ps
Iam : a mother
a wife
a manager & worker
a housewife in the afternoon
How much longer ?
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Lots of Jokes - Things Men Say
Find out what may really mean when they say..."I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Means: "Why isn't it already on the table ?
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great tits."
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
Lots of Jokes - Things Men Say
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Means: "Why isn't it already on the table ?
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great tits."
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
Lots of Jokes - Things Men Say
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
We need to help these people
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.
Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!
Nurse: What is it?
Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!
Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!
Nurse: What is it?
Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!
Monday, April 16, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Causes of Death for Some of the Great Philosophers
Thales: Drowning
Parmenides: It wasn't anything at all
Ockham: Cut while shaving
Russell: Cut while being shaved by one who did not shave himself
Descartes: Stopped thinking
Spinoza: Substance abuse
Leibniz: Monadnucleosis
Darwin: Natural causes
Hume: Unnatural causes
Kant: Transcendental causes (although it was his own idea)
Paley: By design
Heidegger: By Dasein
Meinong: Climbing accident
Neurath: Boating accident
G.E. Moore: By his own hand, obviously
Sheffer: Stroke
Sartre: Nausea
Pascal: Became despondent after losing a wager
Wittgenstein: Tried to see if death was an experience one lived through. (Alternate: fell off a ladder)
Hegel: Collision with owl at dusk
"From the Editor," Ethics, Volume 104, Number 2 (January 1994
Parmenides: It wasn't anything at all
Ockham: Cut while shaving
Russell: Cut while being shaved by one who did not shave himself
Descartes: Stopped thinking
Spinoza: Substance abuse
Leibniz: Monadnucleosis
Darwin: Natural causes
Hume: Unnatural causes
Kant: Transcendental causes (although it was his own idea)
Paley: By design
Heidegger: By Dasein
Meinong: Climbing accident
Neurath: Boating accident
G.E. Moore: By his own hand, obviously
Sheffer: Stroke
Sartre: Nausea
Pascal: Became despondent after losing a wager
Wittgenstein: Tried to see if death was an experience one lived through. (Alternate: fell off a ladder)
Hegel: Collision with owl at dusk
"From the Editor," Ethics, Volume 104, Number 2 (January 1994
Friday, April 13, 2007
Nika & Obi
Don,t you force a smail,girl,tensely,like you do.
The one I,m in love with isn,t really you.
I suppose you know it,and you know it well,
I,m not here to see you but another girl.
I was passing by ,and,well ,
I didin,t care-I saw you and wanted just to stop and stare.
Sergey Yesenin
Thursday, April 12, 2007
A good chess player
A man went to wisit a freind and was amezed to find him playing chess with his dog.
He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
"I can hardly belive my eyes!" he exclaimed.
"That,s the smartes dog I,ve ever seen."
"Nah,he,s not so smart,"the freind replied.
"I,ve beaten him three games out of five."
He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
"I can hardly belive my eyes!" he exclaimed.
"That,s the smartes dog I,ve ever seen."
"Nah,he,s not so smart,"the freind replied.
"I,ve beaten him three games out of five."
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
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